Monday, March 25, 2013

A Spread From Vogue April 2013

Haven't loved a spread this much in a while, so refreshing and it makes me want to watch Rear Window.
















Sunday, February 24, 2013

Lifeguards

My church is held at a community center because we don't have a building, so if I have free time, I like to sit and watch people swim in the pool. I don't know if that's weird or not, but I love to people-watch.
Just this last time I went to the pool, I noticed the lifeguards. They just stand there, alone, occasionally mouthing the rules to some rowdy munchkins, but of the most part, they are alone to their thoughts. To me, I don't know if I'd go insane, or it'd be a good job for me. I am an introvert, so being alone is very beneficial for me mentally, but just watching and doing nothing might be hard at times. I DO need social interaction.
When I go swimming, which is very rare, especially in the winter, I like to gather enough courage to talk to the lifeguards, just so they aren't so bored. Maybe they're not bored, I just feel like I'd be bored if I was a lifeguard.
I really romanticize people who are more reserved, probably because I can relate to them. And not all lifeguards are introverts like me. I'm weird because I will put personalities to people based on the few minutes that I see them interact with the world.
That lifeguard? Oh, he just has this job until he's out of college, he hopes to get a job as an architect. He thinks of how the community center was made, the blueprints, what went through the builder's minds when they decided to add onto the community center.
The other lifeguard? She is happily married, despite looking pretty young. Her husband has a good, sustaining job, and she works as lifeguard because she loves the water, she's also saving some money for a trip to California.
I don't know these people, but I give them these wonderful and beautiful lives, this is how I think.
Well, this was random, if you've made it all the way through this post, I salute you
Love,
Katie

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Winter is beautiful...

...it really is.
And I'm so happy when it begins.
But as the season goes on, I start getting depressed, like really depressed. Not to a point where I'd hurt myself, been there, done that, never going back, but I feel really trapped.
It happens every single year, I think I'll be fine but it sneaks up on me and before I know it, I'm just so sad, all the time.
It seems like everything that I've worried about individually, becomes one big worry that I can't stop thinking of.
The biggest worry this year has been, what are you going to do with your life?
What are you going to do with your life...
What are you going to do with your life...??
Every person on the planet is asking me this question and I feel stupid because I don't know. I've been considering not going to college, and I don't dare tell anyone because I would imagine judgment, I already do and I haven't even told anyone! But I feel certain people can sense it, from the way I shy away from college talk.
Depression stinks because every little thing gets to you, even things you wouldn't think twice about.
Like the fact that I am 18 years old and I just opened a checking account at the bank, and the fact that I completely blanked on my social security number when opening the account. That shouldn't bother me, but it does for some reason.
During the middle of winter, I crave to travel.
Right now I want more than anything to go to disney world, by myself. Not with friends or family, just by myself, but I'm too much of a chicken to go by myself. And I don't have enough money.
I feel really lonely, in the sense if a significant other. I feel extremely lonely in that area of my life, but then I dislike myself for not being able to let God be that for me, I know He's trying. I also dislike myself for not enjoying my life as a single, young person.
I had to miss a retreat for the college students at my church because I had already asked for a week and a half off from work, I can hear my dad saying... If you really wanted to go, you could have made it happen. Yes i could have, I was basically an extra person at work that week, a couple extra days wouldn't have made too much of a difference. It's over now, and there's nothing I can do about it. I really needed it too, although they did go skiing for a good chunk of the trip and me+skiing= not good. For the most part I love skiing, but I swear I was born cold-blooded, I would freeze within the first 15 minutes. I am not exaggerating, the last time I went skiing, the front halves of my feet were completely numb, not fun.
I know this is a kind of really sad post, but the upside is that I am going to not one but TWO concerts within the next couple months! I NEVER go to concerts and I love them! So I'm really excited that I get to be away from life, even if its for a few hours.
Another thing I'm happy about is that I really like my job, if I didn't like my job, who knows what I would be feeling right now.
There is a silver lining, and it is called "springtime". Just kidding, it's really called "I need to figure out what God wants me to do, and do it, and look to Him when I'm lonely" hehe it's really late...
This secret from postsecret.com inspired this post, because its partly what I am feeling right now

Saturday, December 1, 2012

in between

so i have to be honest, i feel like an idiot when i go to church sometimes. the reason i feel this way is very small, but it's weird. i will explain, so when my family first gets to church, my dad drops me, my sisters and my mom off at the door while he goes to park the car. once we get inside, my mom goes straight to the bathroom, while my sisters go straight to youth group. i do not usually need to pee when we get there, and i'm too old for youth group, so i just stand there in the lobby, looking like a lonely loner. if someone does talk to me, its the usual small talk for like 2 minutes, and then i move on.

i'm in that weird in-between stage where i'm not in youth group anymore, but i'm not "an adult" and then if someone my age does come to church, they're with their boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. all the people who graduated with me are off at college, or if they do come to church, we don't really talk, because we didn't really talk all that much in youth group.

i probably sound like a cry baby, and i'm sorry, but if you are or have been in that position before, you know what i mean.

love, Katie

Sunday, November 25, 2012

The one about Costco.

I love going to Costco.
Why? You ask.
Well, I will tell you why.
First of all, it's a really good place to people-watch. I like to watch people (not in a creepy way :P) I just mean, there are so many different types of people out there, and each one of them has a story.

Costco is large store, if you haven't been there, just look up "Costco store" into google images, you'll see what I mean. Everything comes in bulk there (despite that fact, my mother goes there at least 2 or 3 times a week) because everything comes in bulk, the aisles are miles high of products they sell. What I like about the size is, when you're outside a Costco store, it just looks like a big, square brick building, but when you go inside, it's this super store, mostly full of things you don't need, but unfortunately that's the society we live in.

In every Costco, there's an aisle end specially for flowers, it's one of my favorite aisles to pass because there are so many flowers! It smells awesome looks absolutely beautiful! So colorful.

The section of the store with all of the electronics is a pretty cool part too, like at Walmart or target, all the tvs play the same thing, except at Costco, they usually have one or two tvs playing a really awesome movie, like how to train your dragon, or Star Wars. Cool, I know!

The apple pie from Costco that they have for thanksgiving season is absolutely devine! I mean really delicious! They also have this chocolate cake that lasts forever because its so rich! Lets just say that Costco knows what they're doing when it comes to desserts.

The people that work at Costco are just so beautiful, I mean, if you walk in there, your jaw drops. So next time you go to Costco, look at the people that work there, you'll see what I mean. And most of them are really nice! There are a few that are kinda mean at times, but they're usually pretty avoidable.

Speaking of people that work at Costco, here is my final reason for loving to go to Costco. There is this guy that I have the BIGGEST crush on that works in the food court place. No joke, I just find him SO incredibly attractive. I always remembered him working at Costco since I remember ever going there, but just a few months ago, when I was getting some ice cream, he was the one taking my order and I just started thinking he was the bee's knees. I don't know why.

So now, every time my mother says shes going to Costco, I want to go to see the flowers and the tvs, but I also like to see if he's there.

Well, now you probably won't look at Costco the same, but that's okay, there's beauty in everything, you just have to look for it.

Love, Katie

Thursday, September 27, 2012

It's 11:11, make a wish!

You know how people say that if you want to watch a soap opera, just go on to Facebook and scroll through your news feed? Well I've always ignored those people who tend to make everything they possibly can dramatic. But over the last couple of days, I start to notice those posts more, especially the posts of my friends who are going off to college or the people who have been in college and they complain about everything! It makes me so scared, and here's why:

So I am taking a year off to get a job and save up some money, which I already feel kind of self conscious about because its not something people my age do, but here I am.

I have a job as a full-time nanny, but I don't actually start until a little under a month. I'm really excited for it! Right now I feel very comfortable, I feel like I am enjoying life so much! So much more than I ever have.

But here's where I get scared, my friends are complaining about school, their job, or relationships. I'm not saying those aren't all perfectly plausible things to have problems with, but they only talk about the bad things, which makes me wonder if that's all they really EVER focus on. So when I start working, am I just gonna get so tired that I only focus on the bad things? I'm scared because I KNOW that when I get tired, I get depressed.

I'm so in love with life right now, I'm scared that when my life speeds up, I'm going to lose that love. But... Even if I did start focusing on bad things, I would not post it on Facebook. I try to keep the things I share positive.

So if you are reading this, and you like to share those things that are so bad about your life, just don't. Because like me, when you are enjoying life, you'll look bad at how dramatic you were and feel embarrassed for yourself. I'm probably going to look back on this very post and laugh because ill think I was so dramatic.

This post, so far is a little bit of a downer, so ill change the mood a little. The reason I am in love with life is because I love God, and I've tried to get to know Him a bit, and when you know a person, you know how they tend to interact with you. I see God EVERYWHERE, He's in a song I hear on the radio because its so beautiful, He's in a picture in my wall because I saw beauty in it, He speaks to me at random times throughout the day to say exactly what I need to hear, He's in a good movie because its so beautifully made. There are so many ways I see Him, and that's how I enjoy life, and that's also why I'm scared to lose it.
•••
mr. darcy: you must know... surely, you must know it was all for you. you are too generous to trifle witH me. i bElieve you spoke with my aunt last night, anD it has taught me tO hopE as id Scarcely allowed myself before. if your feeliNgs are still what They were last april, tell me so at onCe. my affections And wishes have not changed, but one woRd from you will silEnce me forever. if, however, your feelings hAve chaNged, I will have to tell You: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted froM yOu fRom this day on. E

Monday, September 17, 2012

I make myself laugh

so i said i was going to post more often, and that didn't happen... so i laugh, and laugh, and laugh.
ha ha ha.
its very late, and i Can't seem to fall asleep. sO i laugh.
actually, i can't laugh oUt loud because my sister is asLeep, here in the same room with me. i don't want to wake her up.
sometimes i wish that i coulD fly, and look down at the beautiful state of mInnesota, especially during the state fair. every time i go to the state fair, i look aT all the people and think, they are smiling and having a good time, But somewhere, in themselves or with someone else, or in the near future, they are going through somEthing hard. and my heart breaks for them. i want Them to be happy, so i say a little praying for as many people as I can, even when im not at the state fair. because i love people, just so Much. i think people are just so beautiful, and it makes me sad when people are so sElfish. sometimes i just can't understand how people are so .mean.
?

i know that God loves everyone though, and that He wants everyone to know Him, so that is nice to know. God is everywhere.

LOVE,
Katieee